On Nature and Fear

Mount Merapi and farmers.


Dear Nature,

So beautiful you are today.

The grey sky, the cold breeze

Where have you been all this time?


While the people ponder on you

Of your nature, of your explosive ways of expressing feelings

We’re having an intimate time

At this artsy gallery


Where you told me about your feelings

Kept hidden all these years

Of how much you missed me

And I, of how much I missed you.


They said you are angry

Deep down, you’re just lonely

Being left alone,



You said,

“What are you chasing after, dear?”

And I said,



I closed my eyes after

Holding your hands

At last able to feel your love.



Moonlight on the highway

Driving fast,

Peeking through the speeding cars

Looking for you

The sky is dark yet bright

And it is full moon

Deep Water

On this one fine day

Which is not seen as fine and beauty

When can we open our eyes

and see

That the beauty is in deep water

Yet it is also on the surface

So, tell me,

How would you like to see life, dear?

Age of Reason

Discontented, unsatisfied and curious

Wondering about the world, the whole universe

and back to the state of reasoning

Of why people bind themselves in faith


Despair is always a blessing

Standing here

Alone, or maybe not

No pieces of paper worth fighting for

No numbers that  make you proud

Safety left without any notice


After digging

Crawling and searching

The meaning is found

It’s the light

It is life

It pain

and happiness

And it is eternal.


The beauty in you

Immersed in me

I love the movements you make

The stare, the glimpse

Even your angry face

Desire is running

Strong, intense, passionate

Last night

It was beauty, desire, and life


I stand

When I fall, I stand


The raging feeling felt

What was it?

Was it dissapointment?

Anger, embarrassment, regret?

Or purely lust for illusion?

It is in fact true

That happiness happens now

Song 2

I get sick of things

Sick of you, sick of myself

Sick of all the emotions

Everything is running around,

In my head

Running around

Trying to find the calm state of mind


And I will find calm

and I will find chaos

It is constant

I realize that

The calm and chaos, the peace and the conflict, the good and the bad

They are all just a part of a Whole unity

of Life

So why should I feel upset ?

Song 1

Angry, angry, angry

Angry face, angry face

It takes little to create suffering

It takes so much to create peace

But what is peace?


What the fuck is positivity?

As I slowly realize that positivity is made of negativity

Together blending into one

S – Morning, 04/021/2010

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